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February 26th, 2008

09:40 pm  three whole years relived in the form of my previous livejournal posts. I realised several things.  one: Most importantly, i was a HUGE douchebag. its no wonder i had so many self esteem issues and depression. Not to mention fear of commitment. im not neccessarily a complex person, just misguided and jaded.  two: there are very few people who took the time to understand that phase of my life and who were quicker to judge and critisize. Several of whom i'm glad to say are no longer influential or even present in my life. No wonder my mom always told me that i wouldn't meet my true friends until i am out of high school. As always of course, there are exceptions and to those people, all i can say is thank you for your tolerance during my stupidity.  three: i am so completely and utterly content in my life right now I would not change one single aspect of it. Honestly, the happiness I know now is MONUMENTAL compared to the happiness i always thought I had when i was with someone. One year, six months ago I found love (or it found me) and not looking back since has been the greatest blessing I've ever experienced.  That was quite an eventful three years.  So after seeing troy sara and baby today, still not hearing from joel, adam left for work while i stayed at home being denied overtime AGAIN. Later on today though, after talking to his mom, adam calls me to tell me that he just got off the phone with his mom who had just spoken with none other than our good friend. turns out he took dustin's car and was out using. i dont even know what to say to that. I definately do not want our baby to have a crack head uncle and this is seriously crossing the line. i cannot bring myself to even consider him part of my family. How harsh is that?! i can't do it. Ever since the first time I heard adam talking about him using, I have had little to no trust in him. But thankfully we have our own choices to make and mine are definately going to include never being around him again. What a disappointment. i swear, adam is more mature than the two of them put together. His brothers, that is. Speaking of adam, I must go pick his ass up. Peace out. Current Mood: LIVID

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